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Thursday, September 3, 2009

The Little Tyrant

Dictionary.com defines a tyrant as: a sovereign or other ruler who uses power oppressively or unjustly.


That also accurately describes my son, Max.  Max turned 21 months-old a couple of weeks ago. Max has a remarkable command of English which he employs solely to command, dictate, discipline, and insult.


He is unyielding, impatient, demanding, and unreasonable.  Do I exaggerate the three-foot bullly who rules our home?  When I go to read bedtime stories he says, "Get out, daddy.  Daddy, no!"?



I don't want you to misunderstand me.  I love Max and Max loves me.  There's not even so much as a crack that separates our emotional bond.  He is still a despot of the first order, commanding us to wake no matter how little we're permitted to rest.


He booms, "I POOPY" to announce that it's time for us to go to work on him.  When he giggles, "Soupy Poopy," we know our work will be more unpleasant.



Hands and mouth both full to capacity with food, he commands us, "more, more, more."  "I want more, daddy."  "I want more, mommy."  He is never sated.


 Today he growled at me, a raspy sound coming from somewhere deep inside, so guttural, so Exorcist.  "Chocwit Milk." And if his head didn't turn all the way around, my name isn't Rumpelstiltskin

Max is the master, the commander, oppressor, and Supreme Leader.  I have to sign off now; he's insisting he watch the Wiggles sing Frere Jacques on YouTube, again.



Stay tuned.

3 comments:

Unknown said...

he has gotten sooo big...and are you describing Max or Marley? This I say after I have decided to ignore Marley and get on the computer because she just had such an outrageous temper tantrum and did not listen to a word I said....Love it.

Unknown said...

how about "benevolent tyrant"? after all, he is my grandson. the selection of photos is marvelous, as is max.

Cyd Weldon said...

Okay, I watched the video. There's no way the tyrant will force me to watch that ever again!